Oscar Wilde famously said, “Men can be analysed, women… merely adored.” Being from a generation that understands gender merely as a social construct and not something that relates to capability, success or failure, I believe that this is an interesting analogy. In today’s society, we have seen the battle of sexes escalate to numerous miniature battles regarding equality, expression, and empathy that come with belonging to one of the sexes. In the fight for ‘no discrimination’, while several women still seek equality, many men have taken a back seat and have become victims of this campaign.
Who has it Worse?
Movements such as feminism, like many other movements, are open to free interpretation. This coin has both sides, a good and a bad. The good side is that feminism became a movement about equality that gave recognition to women who had been marginalized for a very long time. The bad side is that it created a notion that women wanted to dominate society, and ultimately dominate men. The worse idea of the two caught on to the larger population, and through the exploitation of certain people, conveyed that men needed to fight back.
The fight needed them to be portrayed as dominant, successful and focused people. This was a way to hide the insecurity of a small percentage’s idea of losing power they had in society. This toxic ideology led to the polluting of the minds of younger generations into a harmful state where they became emotionally distant, physically aggressive and mentally regressed. They become easy targets for activities that prove they are stronger, such as gang-wars, terror groups, addictive substances, etc.
While women have presumably progressed in society through the numerous facilities provided for upliftment, this progress is questionable. In a bid to achieve supremacy, many women have used these facilities as crutches to climb a ladder that leads in the wrong direction. With a small percentage of women using the affirmative actions issued by the government to put down men, it has created a strong backlash for other women to whom these facilities never reached.
The continuous disbalance clearly tells us that despite the many years that this battle has been fought, the true concept of equality has still not been understood. This is largely due to the mentality that there always has to be a victim community- someone who has to have it worse, who needs to be marginalised and who must be stepped over by the other gender(s).
Today’s Idea of Gender
Gender is a fluid concept and no matter what sex you belong to, expression should not be restrained. While it is more easily acceptable for women to have masculine energy, for boys the opposite is not considered appropriate. Feminine energy in boys is considered unnatural- in their choice of clothing, art, hobbies or even career. In male-dominated careers, the gender pay gap is huge and thus, it is largely protested against. However, when the same happens with male counterparts in female-dominated careers, it is not spoken about at all.
Likewise, in the context of Indian society, as in so many others, being a housewife or a bread-earner is often a choice for the daughter, but the son is expected to be the primary breadwinner. The idea of the man being a stay-at-home husband is considered shameful and he is mocked for being incapable of earning money and supporting the household. However, the same is totally acceptable for a girl.
As a result of this, men of the family recluse to the ancient idea of being in charge of money-related matters. They grow distant from other members of the family, especially their children and come off as unemotional. Due to lack of emotional expression, they bottle up their feelings and become aggressive. This leads to fractured mental health which is not treated delicately, or sometimes not even treated at all. The fact that they belong to the male sex is conceived as ‘no need to talk about their feelings and emotions’. The same transcends onto their children, creating a generational cycle of stereotypes.
Breaking the Cycle
While it’s evident that true equality has been impossible to attain till today, it is still a hope for the future. The first step is breaking the generational cycle that teaches us gender roles by appreciating gender in terms of biological needs and NOT making it the bandwagon of social standing. The second step is the acceptance that clothing, colour, career, and creativity have NO gender.
Furthermore, supporting each community beyond the identity they choose or have, as men or women, to succeed and create opportunities that allow participation can help to attain a balance. This balance will essentially end the ever-long battle of the sexes and help attain equal status for everyone.
All these points direct us towards the fact that equality for everyone will come from a combined and extensive team effort. Whether it is equality, empathy and expression or breaking the stereotypes, the conclusion is that coexistence is the only solution. Instead of treating the differences in our bodies as reasons to compete, let’s celebrate our differences and individuality with positivity and harmony and put an end to this battle of sexes.
Writer : Kriti Gupta
Grade : 12 (Year 2024)
Place : Ambala, India
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